I, 24 M, recently proposed to my now ex fiancé (23 F) after 2 years of dating. We met by mutual friends at work. We started talking as friends, we went on dates and on new years eve we officially started dating.
During the beginning of our relationship she mentions this guy, Marvin. According to her Marvin has always have a crush on her and during the first months of our relationship he texted her several times asking her to leave me and give him a chance. We used to say how pathetic this guy was and how she despises him for suggesting she would leave me for him. I must clarify I’m nothing special, I’m a 5’4″ asian nerdy guy.
Time goes by and after 2 years on dating I decided to propose to her. So on new years eve I gave her the ring and she say yes in front of her whole family. I have some money saved (she doesn’t work) so I started looking for venues, catering, invitations, decor and everything. I spended a high amount of money as her parents are not in the position to help with the expenses and I have enough savings to go through this comfortably.
One day, while we’re running errands we started talking about having a threesome. We are in our 20’s so there’s a lot of things we want to try. We discussed for a while on how we could find someone and she quickly says “I have someone on mind” I asked who and se replies with “Marvin”. I KNOW THAT WAS THE FIRST RED FLAG, but I let it pass.
I asked why him and she just answered she was sexually attracted to him. I asked about why she would say she hate him first and then choose him as her first option for a threesome and she replies is only a one time thing. So I told her it was ok but we needed to talk later to set rules, limits, and I would like to talk to him personally before giving the green light.
During the next couple of days she’s acting really excited and she comes to me show me hotels, and when are we going to meet with him and how exciting everything is. I told her we need to talk things first as is not a easy as it sounds and we need to have some limits. After that she calm down for a day or two amd starts to bring the subject up again.
We reached a point where she insisted so much, and bring the subject up so many times I ended up saying to her that she either calm down or no threesome is going to happen. She apologized and mentions I was right but, something didn’t feel right. That afternoon we were having a nap and while she was sleeping I went through here phone and I found how she was cheating on me with him for a couple months now. They have been meeting while I was working and she even send them one of those BDSM tests you can find on line to see if his kinks matched with hers.
To say I was furious is an understatement. She woke up while I was checking the phone and I confronted her. She started crying saying she was sorry and how she didn’t knew what she was doing. I packed my things and stormed out to stay at a hotel. That night I got a call from her parents saying how I was ruining the engagement and acting as a baby while I was the one who bring the topic of the threesome, and how her daughter wasn’t at fault.
I hung up without saying anything and started cancelled everything I had for the wedding. She called me the next day apologizing and asking me to come back. Her whole family is sending texts asking me to man up, as I was the one at fault, and not breaking the engagement.
