I’m 16 years old. I got pregnant by somebody I work with. He’s 18 and is about to graduate high school. He’s planning to join the military after he graduates. He’s not my boyfriend. We were never in a relationship like that. I mean, I wish he was, but he doesn’t seem interested in that. We’re friends. He flirts with me. I lost my virginity to him. He didn’t force me or anything like that. I’ve had sex with him multiple times.
I’m 15 weeks pregnant now. Everyone knows. Well, not everyone because I’m still hiding it from a lot of people. But he knows and my parents know. I’m embarrassed by it. I feel like an idiot, like a joke, like trash. I just wish I could hide until after the baby’s born. I want to never leave my house.
My parents are basically forcing me to give the baby up for adoption. I live in a state with heavy abortion restrictions. It’s way too late to even get one now. My parents don’t believe in abortion either. They told me this is my punishment for getting pregnant – that I deserve to have to deal with being pregnant now. They’ve decided that I’m giving the baby away and have already set up a meeting with an adoption agency. They say they won’t let me ruin my life with a baby and they aren’t going to raise my baby either. So, this is the only other option. My mom keeps saying “You’ll thank us later.”
I didn’t get pregnant on purpose. I don’t really want to be a mom right now. I turn 17 over the summer and will only be starting my junior year next year. At the same time, going through pregnancy and giving birth just to give me baby away terrifies me. I don’t know if I can live with it. It literally makes me feel like I want to throw up or pass out.
I feel like I have no choice but to go along with what my parents want. It’s not like I could support myself let alone me and a baby. I could never just do it on my own.
I was too scared to get an abortion earlier on before I told my parents I was pregnant. I was so scared that I’d get in trouble, but now I realize that probably would have been the easiest thing for me.
If anyone reading this has given a baby up for adoption and survived it, please let me know what it was like. Do you get over it? Do you really end up feeling like it’s the best thing for them and you’re able to just live with it?
